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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Teamsters Endorse Obama

The powerful Teamsters labor union endorsed Barack Obama. What do you think?
  • "It's still not an official endorsement until he pumps his arm and gets one of them to blow their horn."

    Ann Pepperell Systems Analyst
  • "I'm not sure what that really does for him aside from adding another tacky hat to his collection."

    Barry Lyall Smoking Cessation Counselor
  • "Well I was going to vote for him out of hope, but I suppose voting for him out of fear and intimidation is just as good.

    Steven Henley Heating Engineer

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