adBlockCheck

Recent News

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
End Of Section
  • More News

Teen Sexting Linked To Having Sex

A study in the journal Pediatrics found that teens who sent sexually explicit texts or photos were seven times more likely to be sexually active, indicating they don’t simply use sexting as an alterative to real sex, as earlier reports have suggested. What do you think?

  • “Really? Typing sexual words on a phone isn’t an alternative to rubbing genitals together? Are you sure about that?”

    Kenneth Lietzke Jukebox Servicer
  • “Hmm. I’ve been texting sexually explicit photos for months now and still nothing. Am I doing it wrong?”

    John-Clay Zalkan Unemployed
  • “I don’t trust this study. I don’t even let my daughter have a cell phone, and yet she’s a complete whore.”

    Elena Monjaraz Allergist
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings