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Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.

Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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Teen Sexting Not As Prevalent As Thought

A study published in the journal Pediatrics revealed that only one in 100 teens had sent nude or sexually explicit images via phone, as opposed to the previous estimate of one in five. What do you think?

  • "Is it okay if I pretend that statistic doesn't exist? You see, I'm a producer for a nationally televised morning news show."

    Karen Blanck Television Producer
  • "Makes sense. Most kids today are too fat to fit themselves into the frame."

    Dean Harris Systems Analyst
  • "I could've told you that. Man, my kids are never gonna get laid."

    Martin Hannah Mold Stripper

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