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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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Teens Don't Tweet

A survey by Nielsen found that only 16 percent of Twitter users were under 25. What do you think?

  • "Isn't that the same percentage of teens who would respond to a Nielsen survey?"

    Theresa Siegfried Desk Clerk
  • "It's nice to know that my incisive musings and humorous takes on waiting in lines, reality TV, and my cat's behavior are reaching the mature and sophisticated audience they were intended for."

    Jody Phillips Systems Analyst
  • "That's because teens today are too busy sexting! I saw it on the news."

    Marshall Christensen Marketing Consultant

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