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Teens Getting High Off Lip Balm In New ‘Beezin’ Trend

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Teens Getting High Off Lip Balm In New ‘Beezin’ Trend

At least one local news station is reporting that teenagers are engaging in a new trend called “beezin,” which apparently involves applying Burt’s Bees lip balm to the eyelids to experience a tingling sensation from the peppermint oil. What do you think?

  • “I think it’s time we all sat our children down and told them that smoking weed is great and normal.”

    Cassidy Wilcox Revenue Agent
  • “If they can find something fun to do with lip balm, then more power to them.”

    Dick Galligan Pipefitter
  • “They wouldn’t have to resort to lip balm if Visine made an eye drop with some balls.”

    Donald Cates Insurance Collector

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