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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Teens Getting Hurt Playing ‘Fire Challenge’ Game

Police and medical workers across the country are reporting more incidents of teenagers hurting themselves playing the “Fire Challenge” game shown in numerous YouTube videos, which involves pouring a small amount of flammable liquid on their bodies and lighting themselves on fire. What do you think?

  • “I know it sounds dumb, but the stunt did get them on YouTube.”

    Wilson Deschaine Systems Analyst
  • “On one hand, you’ve got teachers and parents telling you not to set yourself on fire, and on the other hand, you’ve got everybody else telling you not to set yourself on fire, so how are teens supposed to know what’s right?”

    Don Koretz Towel Folder
  • “Well, they have to get hurt doing something.”

    Judy Schneider Comparison Shopping Expert
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