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Politics

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.

What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Saying she hadn’t missed a summer since she was on the U.S. Court of Appeals, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said Tuesday that she had once again returned to her off-season lifeguarding job at Splash Central waterpark.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.
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Tennessee Candidate Asks If Islam Is Cult

At an event earlier this month, Tennessee gubernatorial candidate Ron Ramsey questioned whether Islam was a religion or a cult, drawing criticism from Muslim leaders. What do you think?

  • "There's no such thing as a stupid question, unless you're a gubernatorial candidate and you ask whether Islam is a cult."

    Alex Smerdyakov Unemployed
  • "He must have chosen that time to ask because the crowd contained so many scholars of Islam."

    Hans Schultz Bricklayer
  • "What an absolutely horrible thing to say out loud."

    Lexie Brock Property Manager

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