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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Terrorism Training Videos Yanked From YouTube

The new community guidelines for YouTube ban users from uploading videos that incite violence or teach violent activities, like bomb making. What do you think?
  • "That's a relief. There's no telling what kind of havoc a group of YouTube-trained terrorists could cause."

    Pat Olifant Carpenter
  • "Also, they should stop terrorism in places besides YouTube."

    Jill Wikler Volleyball Coach
  • "Oh man, how's my start-up terrorist group supposed to get the word out now? Flyers?"

    Mike Harmon Terrorist
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