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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Terrorist Hero Of New Film

V For Vendetta, a film produced by the Wachowski brothers in which the hero is a terrorist who blows up the British Parliament building, opens today. What do you think?
  • "I haven't felt this conflicted over who to root for since Freddy vs. Jason."

    Kadina Alanis Paralegal
  • "All the political stuff aside, I'm going to see it because Natalie Portman's bald. Finally!"

    Frank Blanco Shoe Patternmaker
  • "That's it. I'm burning my Matrix DVDs. Well, at least the third one. And the second."

    Marco Ragozzino Funeral Director
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