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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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Tesla To Sell Cars In Malls

Electric car manufacturer Tesla Motors has begun opening shops in malls to sell its $100,000 vehicles. What do you think?

  • “This will be a huge hit with the ‘has $100,000 for an experimental luxury car but still shops in a middle-class retail setting’ demographic.”

    Brooke Lenz Utility Assembler
  • “Oh, no! I wish I'd known that; I just bought a Chevy Volt at an open air farmers market!”

    Adam Stavin Systems Analyst
  • “Are they hiring? After five years at Borders, I have a great deal of experience working in a retail environment people only enter to use the bathroom.”

    Calvin Ensign Permit Agent

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