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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Testosterone, Needles Possibly Found At Pistorius' Home

Police say they found needles and what may be testosterone in Oscar Pistorius’ bedroom, suggesting that the double-amputee Olympic sprinter may have been doping around the time he shot his girlfriend, though defense lawyers claimed the substance was an herbal supplement and not a steroid. What do you think?

  • “I don’t see what the big deal is. They found all sorts of crazy stuff at my apartment after I killed my girlfriend.”

    Neil Salvatori Systems Analyst
  • “The guy has no legs. Let him take whatever he wants, for chrissakes.”

    Theresa Berman Oil Sprayer
  • “It was probably echinacea. I use it to boost my immune system, but every now and again when I take it, I murder someone I love.”

    Dennis Lew Layaway Clerk
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