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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Texas-Cheerleader Crackdown

Last week, the Texas House of Representatives approved a bill banning "overtly sexually suggestive" high-school cheerleading routines. What do you think?
  • "See?! See what happens when you bring it on, Kirsten Dunst?!"

    Erik Booth Systems Analyst
  • "If we outlawed everything some people find offensive, there wouldn't even be a Texas in the first place."

    Cindy Campos Lifeguard
  • "Is there a way to comment on this without seeming like a huge perv? All right then, I like the jiggling. Are you happy?"

    Jon Patell Loan Clerk
  • "Texas lawmakers: always on the vanguard of educational reform."

    Dianne Pruitt Store Owner
  • "The law needs to differentiate clearly between lewd cheerleading and regular cheerleading. I've been masturbating to both for quite some time, and trust me, there are subtle differences."

    Alvin Humphrey Laser Engineer
  • "As a former Texas football player, I've gotta say I never noticed the cheerleaders. Don't tell the other guys, though, 'cause they'd kick the shit outta me if they knew that I was gay."

    Alex Stafford Laundry Worker

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