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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.
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Texas-Cheerleader Crackdown

Last week, the Texas House of Representatives approved a bill banning "overtly sexually suggestive" high-school cheerleading routines. What do you think?
  • "See?! See what happens when you bring it on, Kirsten Dunst?!"

    Erik Booth Systems Analyst
  • "If we outlawed everything some people find offensive, there wouldn't even be a Texas in the first place."

    Cindy Campos Lifeguard
  • "Is there a way to comment on this without seeming like a huge perv? All right then, I like the jiggling. Are you happy?"

    Jon Patell Loan Clerk
  • "Texas lawmakers: always on the vanguard of educational reform."

    Dianne Pruitt Store Owner
  • "The law needs to differentiate clearly between lewd cheerleading and regular cheerleading. I've been masturbating to both for quite some time, and trust me, there are subtle differences."

    Alvin Humphrey Laser Engineer
  • "As a former Texas football player, I've gotta say I never noticed the cheerleaders. Don't tell the other guys, though, 'cause they'd kick the shit outta me if they knew that I was gay."

    Alex Stafford Laundry Worker
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