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Texas-Cheerleader Crackdown

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Texas-Cheerleader Crackdown

Last week, the Texas House of Representatives approved a bill banning "overtly sexually suggestive" high-school cheerleading routines. What do you think?
  • "See?! See what happens when you bring it on, Kirsten Dunst?!"

    Erik Booth Systems Analyst
  • "If we outlawed everything some people find offensive, there wouldn't even be a Texas in the first place."

    Cindy Campos Lifeguard
  • "Is there a way to comment on this without seeming like a huge perv? All right then, I like the jiggling. Are you happy?"

    Jon Patell Loan Clerk
  • "Texas lawmakers: always on the vanguard of educational reform."

    Dianne Pruitt Store Owner
  • "The law needs to differentiate clearly between lewd cheerleading and regular cheerleading. I've been masturbating to both for quite some time, and trust me, there are subtle differences."

    Alvin Humphrey Laser Engineer
  • "As a former Texas football player, I've gotta say I never noticed the cheerleaders. Don't tell the other guys, though, 'cause they'd kick the shit outta me if they knew that I was gay."

    Alex Stafford Laundry Worker

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