adBlockCheck

Politics

Man Born With Face You Just Want To Punch

In case you missed last night's premiere of the second season of "Onion News Network", watch Jean Anne Whorton's touching portrait of a man who was born with a god-awful, hateful face.

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Texas Immigration Bill Includes Domestic-Worker Loophole

The Texas Legislature is considering a bill that would imprison anyone who knowingly hires an illegal alien, except in cases where the employee is a maid, landscaper, or other household worker. What do you think?

  • "That bill is going to come down unfairly hard on undocumented doctors and police."

    Laura DeMarinis Systems Analyst
  • "That's good. Why should I be penalized just because my maid happens to like harvesting tomatoes?"

    Owen Ranaldo Sivil Engineer
  • "Just out of curiosity, how would this law apply to someone who runs a meatpacking operation out of their garage?"

    Nate Edson Unemployed

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close