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A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.
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Texas Passes Sweeping Abortion Restrictions

Despite an 11-hour filibuster by state senator Wendy Davis two weeks earlier, the Texas legislature passed strict abortion limits during a special session called by Governor Rick Perry, likely resulting in the closure of all but five of the state’s abortion clinics. What do you think?

  • “This is really going to screw up my dream of getting an abortion in all 50 states.”

    Robin Weaver Escalator Constructor
  • “Luckily, I still have a number of painful and potentially deadly ways to take care of this myself.”

    Erin August Actress
  • “Here’s a thought experiment: What if men could get pregnant, and what if one hapless scientist had to be the first one to try it?”

    James Barron Housekeeper
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