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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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Texas Pastor Calls Mormonism Cult

After introducing Gov. Rick Perry during a campaign stop, megachurch pastor Robert Jeffress drew criticism when he referred to Mormonism as a cult. What do you think?

  • "Well, who better to spot a cult than a Texan messenger of God?"

    Shannon Brown Hooking-Machine Operator
  • "I'm sure Mr. Perry's supporters will soon set him straight."

    Jennifer Cargill Fuse Maker
  • "Seems like a stretch. I mean, Mitt Romney and Harry Reid don’t even have matching sneakers or anything."

    Jimmy Wynette Unemployed

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