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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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Texas Pastor Calls Mormonism Cult

After introducing Gov. Rick Perry during a campaign stop, megachurch pastor Robert Jeffress drew criticism when he referred to Mormonism as a cult. What do you think?

  • "Well, who better to spot a cult than a Texan messenger of God?"

    Shannon Brown Hooking-Machine Operator
  • "I'm sure Mr. Perry's supporters will soon set him straight."

    Jennifer Cargill Fuse Maker
  • "Seems like a stretch. I mean, Mitt Romney and Harry Reid don’t even have matching sneakers or anything."

    Jimmy Wynette Unemployed

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