Texas Penguin Truck Accident

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Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.

Where Your Political Donation Goes

With over $1 billion spent in the 2016 presidential race alone, campaign donations continue to cause much controversy and even confusion for their role in shaping politics. Here is a step-by-step guide to how the average American’s political donation travels through a campaign

Roommate Skulking Around Edge Of Party Like Victorian Ghost Child

SEATTLE—Appearing initially in the far corner of the living room and then several minutes later on the threshold between the kitchen and the hallway, local roommate Kelsey Stahl was, by multiple accounts, seen skulking around the edge of a house party Friday like a Victorian ghost child.
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Texas Penguin Truck Accident

Last week, a truck carrying exotic fish, penguins, and an octopus overturned on a Texas highway, spilling its cargo. What do you think?
  • "My heart goes out to the grieving survivor, who must now march all the way back to Indianapolis to bear sad news and try to console the mother penguin."

    Jerry Archer Carpenter
  • "Man, we were just one nuclear-waste truck shy of a radioactive octopenguin."

    Randall Szlotsky Park Tour Guide
  • "Has anyone optioned it yet? It's the sequel to both Madagascar and Cars in one tragedy."

    Jan Shapiro Studio Executive


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