Texas Penguin Truck Accident

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Disney Unveils First Virgin Princess

LOS ANGELES—In an effort to better reflect the diverse backgrounds and experiences of their audience, Disney officials this week introduced Lily of Hazelberry, the company’s first virgin princess.
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Coworkers Pull Off Daring One-Hour Lunch Break

TUCSON, AZ—Saying they couldn’t believe such a wild exploit had even been attempted, employees at local marketing firm Synergy Media Services told reporters they were still completely dumbfounded Thursday after account manager Tim Gibbons managed to pull off a daring one-hour lunch break.

Texas Penguin Truck Accident

Last week, a truck carrying exotic fish, penguins, and an octopus overturned on a Texas highway, spilling its cargo. What do you think?
  • "My heart goes out to the grieving survivor, who must now march all the way back to Indianapolis to bear sad news and try to console the mother penguin."

    Jerry Archer
    Carpenter
  • "Man, we were just one nuclear-waste truck shy of a radioactive octopenguin."

    Randall Szlotsky
    Park Tour Guide
  • "Has anyone optioned it yet? It's the sequel to both Madagascar and Cars in one tragedy."

    Jan Shapiro
    Studio Executive
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