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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:
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Texas Penguin Truck Accident

Last week, a truck carrying exotic fish, penguins, and an octopus overturned on a Texas highway, spilling its cargo. What do you think?
  • "My heart goes out to the grieving survivor, who must now march all the way back to Indianapolis to bear sad news and try to console the mother penguin."

    Jerry Archer Carpenter
  • "Man, we were just one nuclear-waste truck shy of a radioactive octopenguin."

    Randall Szlotsky Park Tour Guide
  • "Has anyone optioned it yet? It's the sequel to both Madagascar and Cars in one tragedy."

    Jan Shapiro Studio Executive
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