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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Thanksgiving Today

While the rest of the world goes about its business, the United States will celebrate its traditional day of thanks today. What do you think?
  • "Stupid Thanksgiving. I wish I could go to work."

    Jason Woods Locksmith
  • "That reminds me: I have to put my ashtray/gravy boat in the dishwasher."

    Bill Foad Unemployed
  • "Thanksgiving is my least favorite holiday next to National Give Your Mom a Candle Day. Wait, that's not a real holiday? I knew it, Mom!"

    Liz Munro Party Planner

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