Thanksgiving Weekend Draws Record Number Of Shoppers

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Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.

Thanksgiving Weekend Draws Record Number Of Shoppers

With many Black Friday sales beginning earlier this year—including several that started on Thanksgiving night—stores and online retailers together lured a record 247 million shoppers this weekend and took in more than $59 billion. What do you think?

  • “Shame on retailers for allowing us to behave like such animals.”

    Carol Zielinski
    Systems Analyst
  • “It’s nice to see our nation getting back into excessive consumer debt.”

    Adam Puranaphun
    Nutritionist
  • “As a budget-minded consumer who enjoys rubbing up against people, it was a great day all around.”

    Tom Yuan
    Luggage Repairer
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