adBlockCheck

The 2000 Elections

Top Headlines

Politics

The Arguments For And Against Bernie Sanders Staying In The Race

Bernie Sanders is ramping up his efforts in the presidential race despite long odds, while sharpening his criticisms of a Democratic Party increasingly focused on the general election with Hillary Clinton as their presumptive nominee. Here are the arguments for and against Sanders staying in the race

Donald Trump’s Campaign: Myth Vs. Fact

Donald Trump’s political positions, personal history, and potential governing style have been the subject of much debate throughout the 2016 election. The Onion separates myth from fact in this breakdown of Trump’s campaign:

Report: Well, Here We Go

WASHINGTON—With Donald Trump’s two remaining GOP rivals suspending their candidacies and clearing a path for the billionaire businessman to assume the Republican presidential nomination, reports indicated Wednesday that, well, hoo boy, here we go.

Ted Cruz Dressed For Campaign Rally By Swarm Of Loyal Vermin

INDIANAPOLIS—In what has reportedly become a daily routine on the campaign trail, Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz stood alone in the center of his hotel suite Tuesday morning where he was carefully dressed and groomed by a swarm of loyal vermin.

How The GOP Plans To Stop Trump

In response to Donald Trump’s growing presidential primary lead, here’s how Republican Party leaders are ramping up efforts to prevent him from getting enough delegates to win the nomination outright.

It Unclear Why Thousands Of Loud, Chanting Trump Supporters Gathering Outside Arena In Iowa

‘There’s No Event Here, But They Keep Coming,’ Say Concerned Stadium Staff

DES MOINES, IA—Noting that the Republican presidential candidate had not announced any plans to visit Iowa since the state held its caucus 11 weeks ago, baffled sources reported Wednesday that it remains unclear why thousands of loud, cheering Donald Trump supporters are gathering outside the Wells Fargo Arena in Des Moines.

Obama Caught Trying To Jump White House Fence

WASHINGTON—The White House was briefly placed on lockdown Friday morning after “an addled and emotionally distraught” President Obama was reportedly caught trying to scale the North Lawn fence, the third such attempt this year, Secret Service officials confirmed.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

The 2000 Elections

In the wake of President Clinton's second inauguration, talk has already begun to turn toward the Presidential Election of 2000. What do you think of the '00 Vote?
  • "Who will lead the forces of Planet Earth in the coming Space Galaxy Wars of 2002? The answer is obvious: Lord Gore-Tron of the AstroForce!"

    Michael Offerman Electrician
  • "I don't know who'll win in 2000, but in this special classroom, we believe that everyone's a winner."

    Sandy Broward Teacher
  • "It's definitely not too early to start discussing the 2000 elections. Now, if you'll please excuse me, I have a lunch date in 22 months."

    Charles Tingley Systems Analyst
  • "We can talk and talk about who should be president, but I say we should just settle it with some kind of vote."

    Geoffrey Halloran Pilot
  • "Who's the governor of Arkansas right now? Because with the way the last two elections have gone, I think I see a trend."

    Sharon Jenner Orthopedic Surgeon
  • "Prophecy says that in 2000, a beast shall come forth from the sea and its countenance shall be foul as that of dragons and upon its brow shall be the name of blasphemy. I'm voting for that fuckin' bad boy."

    Ed Lefkowitz Graphic Designer

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close