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The 49 States Of America?

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Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

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The 49 States Of America?

A secession movement has been gaining traction in the state of Vermont. What do you think?
  • "I have to say, the thought of having a foreign country so close to American soil makes me very, very nervous."

    Livia Hawkins Systems Analyst
  • "There's only one way to stop this seditious maneuver, and that's for Subaru to refuse to sell Vermonters any more station wagons."

    Kurt Isaacs Apartment Maintenance
  • "Hey Vermont, remember what happened the last time someone seceded? The army marched through their states and burned everything to the ground. And the South wasn't high all the time."

    Walt Boelter Mailcarrier

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