The 49 States Of America?

In This Section

Vol 43 Issue 23

End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Productivity

Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

Holiday

The 49 States Of America?

A secession movement has been gaining traction in the state of Vermont. What do you think?
  • "I have to say, the thought of having a foreign country so close to American soil makes me very, very nervous."

    Livia Hawkins
    Systems Analyst
  • "There's only one way to stop this seditious maneuver, and that's for Subaru to refuse to sell Vermonters any more station wagons."

    Kurt Isaacs
    Apartment Maintenance
  • "Hey Vermont, remember what happened the last time someone seceded? The army marched through their states and burned everything to the ground. And the South wasn't high all the time."

    Walt Boelter
    Mailcarrier
Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More