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The 9/11 Panel Report

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Saudi Authorities Decry Wasteful 3-Hour Death-Row Appeals Process

RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA—Criticizing the amount of time and money wasted between a condemned individual’s sentencing and eventual execution, Saudi government officials expressed frustration Monday over the country’s costly three-hour appeals process for convicts facing the death penalty.

Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.
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The 9/11 Panel Report

The 9/11 Commission's final report, released last week, cited many failures on the part of the U.S. government. What do you think?
  • "I read the whole report cover to cover. Turns out it was terrorists."

    Laurie Fredette
    Ticket Taker
  • "Osama, Osama, Osama! Can't we have a commission about something nice for a change?"

    Matthew Dort
    Coach
  • "I'm glad it's over. The way that investigation was dragging on, I was almost beginning to wish that 9/11 had never even happened."

    Ralph Gagliano
    Anesthesiologist
  • "I wrote a report about 8/20 that I think you should read. It's called My Birthday And What I Want For It."

    Joseph Jones
    Deliveryman
  • "Great timing! I just finished Bergdorf Blondes, and I've been looking for another good beach read."

    Karen Farr
    Secretary
  • "Eh, the whole thing is pretty tame. Now, Ken Starr—there was a man who could write a juicy report."

    Jeffery Koeshal
    Systems Analyst

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