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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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The Abortion Pill

Last week, the FDA approved the controversial French abortion pill RU-486, permitting non-surgical abortions in the U.S. for the first time and sparking protest from pro-life advocates. What do you think?
  • "Now, hold on there. Isn't there a line in The Bible specifically prohibiting safe, non-invasive, affordable medical procedures for women?"

    Patrick Klennert TV Repairman
  • "The Europeans have always been ahead of us culturally and philosophically. But we've finally caught up to them abortionally."

    Robert Ketcham Systems Analyst
  • "I just wish this pill had been available seven years ago. You hear that, Corey?"

    Liz Lathon Homemaker
  • "This abortion thing is getting out of control. Do you realize this planet is down to its last six billion people?"

    Ronald Lee Food Vendor
  • "This drug will only encourage young kids to get hooked on the pain and trauma of abortion."

    Audra Fusco Occupational Therapist
  • "If women can deal with unwanted pregnancies safely without it destroying their lives, how are they ever going to learn?"

    Nate Thurman Bank Manager

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