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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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The Al-Qaeda Captives

U.S. leaders are divided over whether al-Qaeda detainees in Cuba should be classified as POWs and protected under Geneva Convention laws. What do you think?
  • "Goddammit, just when we finally get some prisoners, everybody wants us to be all nice to them."

    Roger Koss File Clerk
  • "I have to admit, it's funny the way those Marines had them bowing twice a day in the direction of Oscar Mayer world headquarters."

    Donald Matthews Architect
  • "This is a totally different situation. Those Geneva Convention laws were written back when we were fighting white people."

    Bruce Nowell Systems Analyst
  • "Geneva Convention, Schmeneva Convention. Refute that, if you possess the erudition."

    Marcus Moore Landscaper
  • "We need to rough up these al-Qaeda guys a little if we're ever going to get them to confess who the one true God is."

    Diana George Homemaker
  • "I don't think we should risk making martyrs of these men. Notice I said 'martyrs,' not 'quadriplegics.'"

    Danielle Lund Florist

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