adBlockCheck

International

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.

Tokyo Portal Outage Delays Millions Of Japanese Warp Commuters

TOKYO—Saying the outdated system needed to be upgraded or replaced to avoid similar problems going forward, millions of inconvenienced Japanese warp commuters expressed frustration Thursday following a Tokyo portal outage that caused delays of up to eight seconds.
End Of Section
  • More News

The Ban On Travel To Cuba

The House of Representatives recently voted to end the decades-old restriction prohibiting travel to Cuba. What do you think?
  • "But if we impose sanctions for just one more year, we could still win the Cold War."

    Charlie Todd Financial Examiner
  • "What flake thought up this stupid bill? Oh, U.S. Rep. Jeff Flake (R-AZ)."

    Mary Regan Appraiser
  • "Tom DeLay claims lifting restrictions will support Fidel's 'thugocracy.' And who would know better than an elected Thugocrat?"

    Porter Mason Podiatrist
  • "Our country should not recognize the tyrant Castro until the land that belonged to the tyrant Batista is returned to its rightful mob owners."

    David Berman Paramedic
  • "Making Cuba accessible to Americans would encourage reforms there, as it did in the once-oppressive republics of the Bahamas, Aruba, and South Padre Island."

    Jane Borden Systems Analyst
  • "We all know imposing sanctions doesn't work. It seems our only option is to strike now."

    Rob Webber Sales Agent

More from this section

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close