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The Bin Laden Audiotape

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PARIS—After retrieving the eyesore from amid a clutter of unused display cases and movable stanchions in the back of the facility’s basement where it had been stowed ever since the museum received it, curators at the Louvre hurried to display an ugly Vincent van Gogh painting before the artwork’s donor made a surprise visit to the museum Friday.

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The Bin Laden Audiotape

Last week, al-Jazeera aired an audiotape purportedly of Osama bin Laden praising the Sept. 11 attacks. What do you think about the possibility that bin Laden is alive?
  • "I have my suspicions that this tape is older than al-Jazeera claims, mostly because of the way bin Laden peppers his speech with 'fer sure' and 'tubular.'"

    Linda Kingery Librarian
  • "Hell, that could be anyone's voice. Even I can do bin Laden... 'Oh, yes, I very much like to blow up the buildings, sir.' No, you sound Indian."

    Todd Buhner Landscaper
  • "Bin Laden... alive? It's a Christmastime miracle!"

    Bill Cotto Electrical <br>Engineer
  • "You mean our bombing the crap out of Afghanistan and threatening war with Iraq hasn't softened his anti-American stance? That can't be right."

    Glenda <br>Langston Podiatrist
  • "Hey, I'm way ahead of you. I know this place down on Canal Street that had bootleg copies of the tape a week before al-Jazeera."

    Bob Bankhead Bus Driver
  • "I don't know which is more terrifying—that bin Laden is still alive or that al-Qaeda may be in cahoots with Rich 'Man Of A Thousand Voices' Little."

    George Brantley Systems <br>Analyst

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