adBlockCheck

Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
End Of Section
  • More News

The Budget Surplus

The 1998 fiscal year ended with a federal budget surplus of $70 billion, the first surplus in three decades. What do you think?
  • "We must've gotten all that money when we stopped buying those $3,000 hammers."

    Christopher Meacham Delivery Driver
  • "I propose that a gold-doubloon-filled national vault be built in which all U.S. citizens may frolic and shout 'I'm rich! I'm rich!'"

    Suzanne Gamble Potter
  • "This is great. Now we can finally pay off .0000002 percent of the interest on the national debt."

    Meredith Wynegar Mechanical Engineer
  • "Imagine that–all this happening right before an election. What luck."

    Jim Nettles Science Teacher
  • "Seventy billion might seem like a lot but just wait until the government finds out how much tax it'll have to pay on it."

    Rick Randolph Systems Analyst
  • "Do you think we should put that money toward bailing out our bankrupt Social Security system? Me neither. PlayStations for all!"

    Eric Milbourne Student

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close