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Politics

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.

What You Need To Know About The Dakota Access Pipeline

Construction is currently stalled on the Dakota Access Pipeline, which would connect North Dakota’s Bakken Shale development to oil tank farms in Illinois, by protests led by members of the Standing Rock Sioux tribe. The Onion provides answers to key questions about the project.

What Can Americans Expect Under A Trump Presidency?

With two months until the inauguration of Donald Trump, many Americans are wondering what his term will look like and what his administration might accomplish. The Onion answers some common questions about Trump’s upcoming presidency

James Comey Quickly Reopens Clinton Email Investigation For Few More Minutes

‘Nope, Looks Like It’s All Good Here,’ Says FBI Director

WASHINGTON—In a letter addressed to Congress that was quickly followed by a second message retracting the first, FBI director James Comey is said to have briefly reopened the investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails for several more minutes Friday.

Pollsters Admit They Underestimated Voters’ Adrenal Glands

WASHINGTON—In response to widespread criticism that they had failed to predict Donald Trump’s victory in the 2016 election, analysts from polling organizations around the nation admitted Thursday they had underestimated the influence of voters’ adrenal glands on the presidential race.
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The Budget Surplus

The 1998 fiscal year ended with a federal budget surplus of $70 billion, the first surplus in three decades. What do you think?
  • "We must've gotten all that money when we stopped buying those $3,000 hammers."

    Christopher Meacham Delivery Driver
  • "I propose that a gold-doubloon-filled national vault be built in which all U.S. citizens may frolic and shout 'I'm rich! I'm rich!'"

    Suzanne Gamble Potter
  • "This is great. Now we can finally pay off .0000002 percent of the interest on the national debt."

    Meredith Wynegar Mechanical Engineer
  • "Imagine that–all this happening right before an election. What luck."

    Jim Nettles Science Teacher
  • "Seventy billion might seem like a lot but just wait until the government finds out how much tax it'll have to pay on it."

    Rick Randolph Systems Analyst
  • "Do you think we should put that money toward bailing out our bankrupt Social Security system? Me neither. PlayStations for all!"

    Eric Milbourne Student

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