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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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The California Blackouts

A state of emergency has been declared in California, where massive power shortages have necessitated cutting off electricity through much of the state. What do you think about the crisis?
  • "Why don't they just hook the state up to the mega-watt star power of Hollywood's Charlize Theron? That blonde bombshell positively crackles with electricity."

    Michael Dupree Systems Analyst
  • "Well, there's only one thing to be done. Nevada, Arizona: Give California all your power. Come on, it's not like you matter as much."

    Ken Brandt Bond Trader
  • "It's all a sad lesson in the dangers of short-sightedness in civic planning. But the important question is: When should we commence looting?"

    Randy Toth Painter
  • "I'm sure the people of California will band together to get through this. Then they'll form a tofu cult."

    Fred Nouri Landscaper
  • "Gee, I hope San Francisco doesn't have to turn off its big fog machine."

    Adrienne Berner Homemaker
  • "Didn't California slide into the ocean yet? Can we find a way to speed that up?'

    Donna Rutt Teacher

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