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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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The Church Sex Scandal

A growing sex-abuse scandal is engulfing the Catholic Church, with many priests accused of sexually molesting children. What do you think?
  • "Where in the Bible does it forbid someone to pin a 10-year-old behind a large cooler of Kool-Aid in a church basement?"

    Chris Davis Lawyer
  • "Catholic priests are being unfairly singled out as pedophiles. We must not forget the music teachers and hockey coaches."

    Don Lawson File Clerk
  • "This is just secular, liberal-media hysteria over thousands of grade-schoolers getting ass-raped."

    Phil Ormond Cab Driver
  • "Hey, if Abraham was willing to kill his son for God, the least a devout Catholic can do is let his kid get cornholed here and there."

    Paul George Accountant
  • "Wine, candles, incense, frilly little frocks... you can see how it sets a mood."

    Sheila Rutt Systems Analyst
  • "Now that it's out in the open, the healing can begin. Except for the kids."

    Danielle Krug Speech Therapist
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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

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