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The Church Sex Scandal

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CHICAGO—Taking note of the man’s beat-up tennis shoes, sweat-drenched shirt, and ill-fitting pair of sweatpants as he made his way down the sidewalk, witnesses reported Tuesday that area jogger Dan Andreychuk was clearly out on his very first run of a plan to turn his life around.

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Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

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The Church Sex Scandal

A growing sex-abuse scandal is engulfing the Catholic Church, with many priests accused of sexually molesting children. What do you think?
  • "Where in the Bible does it forbid someone to pin a 10-year-old behind a large cooler of Kool-Aid in a church basement?"

    Chris Davis
    Lawyer
  • "Catholic priests are being unfairly singled out as pedophiles. We must not forget the music teachers and hockey coaches."

    Don Lawson
    File Clerk
  • "This is just secular, liberal-media hysteria over thousands of grade-schoolers getting ass-raped."

    Phil Ormond
    Cab Driver
  • "Hey, if Abraham was willing to kill his son for God, the least a devout Catholic can do is let his kid get cornholed here and there."

    Paul George
    Accountant
  • "Wine, candles, incense, frilly little frocks... you can see how it sets a mood."

    Sheila Rutt
    Systems Analyst
  • "Now that it's out in the open, the healing can begin. Except for the kids."

    Danielle Krug
    Speech Therapist

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