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20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.
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The Clone Wars

In the first-ever cloning of a mammal, scientists in Scotland announced last week that they had successfully cloned a sheep. What do you think?
  • "Big deal. I discovered the secret of my sheep's colon years ago."

    Tad Kolinski Farmer
  • "The world of the frighteningly prophetic 1984 film Weird Science is closer than we think."

    Wendy Reid Interior Decorator
  • "I can't believe it—imagine a whole field of sheep that all look alike!"

    Barbara Eastman Systems Analyst
  • "They spend billions on genetics research, and meanwhile, I still have no pretzel rods with tangy ranch flavor."

    Rajeev Pindar Speech Pathologist
  • "Science can do anything now, man. They can clone, they can orbit shit. Hell, I'll admit it—science is cool."

    Tony Roth Building Supervisor
  • "I think I saw some of those cloning experiments going on down at the mall. They had wallet chains and real big pants."

    Will Backman Plumber

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20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

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