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The Concorde Crash

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International

‘People Are Inherently Good,’ World Halfheartedly Mutters

NICE, FRANCE—Following yesterday’s terrorist attack in Nice, France that left over 80 people dead and scores more injured, sources reported that a dazed and utterly dejected global populace halfheartedly muttered the phrase “People are inherently good” to themselves Friday.

Louvre Curators Hurry To Display Ugly Van Gogh Donor Gave Them Before Surprise Visit

PARIS—After retrieving the eyesore from amid a clutter of unused display cases and movable stanchions in the back of the facility’s basement where it had been stowed ever since the museum received it, curators at the Louvre hurried to display an ugly Vincent van Gogh painting before the artwork’s donor made a surprise visit to the museum Friday.

ISIS Starting To Worry New Recruit Huge Psycho

RAQQA, SYRIA—Admitting that the recently arrived jihadist’s disturbing behavior was becoming a serious cause for concern, several ISIS members told reporters Friday they were starting to worry that new recruit Said Hassad was a huge psycho.

National Security Experts: ‘ISIS Are Fucking Assholes’

WASHINGTON—Updating the public about the deadly attacks carried out in Brussels yesterday by members of the Syria-based jihadist group, national security experts held a press conference in Washington this morning to notify Americans that ISIS are fucking assholes.
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The Concorde Crash

On July 25, an Air France Concorde crashed during takeoff near Paris, killing 113 people, including 96 Germans. What do you think of this first-ever crash of the supersonic jet?
  • "Man, that's more Germans than the French killed in WWII."

    Bill Ready Systems Analyst
  • "They still have those Concordes? That's so cute. I thought they went the way of Evel Knievel's X-1 Skycycle."

    Jill Connelly Psychologist
  • "I almost took that doomed Air France Concorde flight. Thank God, though, I chose instead to fly on Le Jette de Valu."

    Lynn Innis Homemaker
  • "I took the Concorde from New York to London in the early '90s, and it wasn't all that great. Macaulay Culkin kept kicking my seat."

    Michael Kipp Landscaper
  • "Man was not meant to break the sound barrier, and now we are paying mightily for our hubris."

    Robert Coleman Optometrist
  • "I once crashed my dad's Chrysler Concorde, but I only killed, like, four people."

    Doug Dyer File Clerk

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