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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:
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The Death Of John-John

Killed with his wife and sister-in-law in a plane crash July 16, JFK Jr. joins a long line of Kennedys to die under tragic circumstances. What do you think about the latest calamity to befall America's first family?
  • "It's tragic when you consider all the wasted potential. Think of all the stylish neckties he would have gone on to wear."

    Jennifer Levy Graphic Designer
  • "Just give me a minute to collect myself and dry the tears I'm crying for America. Okay, now, who died?"

    Elaine Foss Florist
  • "We have lost a man who forged in the smithy of his soul the uncreated conscience of his race. No, wait—that was James Joyce. JFK Jr. was that guy in People."

    Frank Cameron Actuary
  • "Christ, how long can that crazy wop Giancana stay mad?"

    Rajiv Gopindar Cashier
  • "All I can say is, thank God his wife was also in the plane, sparing us from having to endure another bony, widowed, fashionplate, pseudo-royal Jackie O figure for the next 50 years."

    Steve<br>Roby Delivery<br>Driver
  • "You know, I'm gonna miss that old casket-saluting bar-flunker."

    John Auletta Systems Analyst
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