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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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The 'Dirty Bomb' Threat

U.S. citizen Jose Padilla was arrested May 8 in a plot to detonate a "dirty bomb" spewing low-level radiation. What do you think about this latest terror threat?
  • "I am an American, and I'm not about to be cowed into fearing things I should be afraid of."

    Jim Miller Architect
  • "I'm glad they caught that soy-bomb guy. He was a dick."

    Lisa Bell Student
  • "I don't know... picking up chicks with, 'Sleep with me, baby—tomorrow we could all be dirty-bombed' just doesn't cut it."

    Frank Castellano Delivery Driver
  • "That's so awesome that the government stopped a would-be terrorist. And right when they're reeling from criticism about that stuff. It's like fate! A magical cosmic symmetry!"

    Dave Downing File Clerk
  • "Tell you one thing: There wouldn't be all this bombing and killing stuff if everyone in the world were either me or my wife."

    Mitch Redmond Systems Analyst
  • "The big question is, how did we ever let a guy like this into the country? What? He was born here? Oh."

    Dana Cornell Florist
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