The Dockworkers' Strike

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SILVER SPRING, MD—Warning residents to prepare for extreme winds, heavy rainfall, and flooding starting in the near future and continuing indefinitely, meteorologists at the National Weather Service announced Friday that the upcoming hurricane season would be permanent.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.

The Dockworkers' Strike

Dockworkers in 29 West Coast ports returned to work last week under court order, tackling a 10-day backlog of cargo. What do you think?
  • "Those damn dockworkers have it so good—except for the spending-all-day-hauling-200- pound-boxes part."

    John McGee
    Systems <br>Analyst
  • "My heart goes out to those dockworkers. They could have been contenders. They could have been somebody. Instead of a bunch of bums, which is what they are."

    Grace Olney
    Librarian
  • "I heard Bush ended this strike by invoking 1947's Taft-Hartley Act. If I were him, I'd leave that boring crap back in ninth-grade history, where it belongs."

    Randall <br>Smithson
    Electrician
  • "Oh, good. I would have just died if some shit on a boat in San Francisco didn't get unloaded."

    Adam Nesbitt
    Attorney
  • "This is like the time I organized a strike over at Sbarro's. Actually, I just stopped showing up."

    Gordie Runnels
    File Clerk
  • "I just feel bad for all the rotting vegetables. They're the real victims in all this."

    Marcy Webber
    Student