adBlockCheck

Recent News

Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
End Of Section
  • More News

The Dockworkers' Strike

Dockworkers in 29 West Coast ports returned to work last week under court order, tackling a 10-day backlog of cargo. What do you think?
  • "Those damn dockworkers have it so good—except for the spending-all-day-hauling-200- pound-boxes part."

    John McGee Systems <br>Analyst
  • "My heart goes out to those dockworkers. They could have been contenders. They could have been somebody. Instead of a bunch of bums, which is what they are."

    Grace Olney Librarian
  • "I heard Bush ended this strike by invoking 1947's Taft-Hartley Act. If I were him, I'd leave that boring crap back in ninth-grade history, where it belongs."

    Randall <br>Smithson Electrician
  • "Oh, good. I would have just died if some shit on a boat in San Francisco didn't get unloaded."

    Adam Nesbitt Attorney
  • "This is like the time I organized a strike over at Sbarro's. Actually, I just stopped showing up."

    Gordie Runnels File Clerk
  • "I just feel bad for all the rotting vegetables. They're the real victims in all this."

    Marcy Webber Student

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close