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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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The First Wives Phenomenon

The film The First Wives Club has all of America talking about the issue of men leaving their wives for younger women. Even Time magazine featured the movie's stars on its cover last week. What do you think about the film and the sensation it's causing?
  • "First Wives? Bah! When is Time going to cover a real news story—like aliens invading the earth in a summer blockbuster? Now that would be news."

    Leigh Orff Opthamologist
  • "I'm a rich, white male who has been married twice. Only, I didn't divorce my first wife. I beat her to death with a golf club."

    Eric Hoyer Zookeeper
  • "When two people with a family divorce, they're not the only ones affected. Please don't forget about the pool cleaner."

    Connie Hanson Caterer
  • "I don't understand what all the hubbub is about—Diane Keaton didn't even take off her shirt."

    John Kretchman Systems Analyst
  • "I ain't seen the movie. But all the guys are talking about it down at the garage."

    Bill Feller Key Grip
  • "When my husband left me, I became a member of the Columbia Music Club. Savings is the best revenge!"

    Melanie Kranz Sales Representative
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