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The First Wives Phenomenon

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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The First Wives Phenomenon

The film The First Wives Club has all of America talking about the issue of men leaving their wives for younger women. Even Time magazine featured the movie's stars on its cover last week. What do you think about the film and the sensation it's causing?
  • "First Wives? Bah! When is Time going to cover a real news story—like aliens invading the earth in a summer blockbuster? Now that would be news."

    Leigh Orff Opthamologist
  • "I'm a rich, white male who has been married twice. Only, I didn't divorce my first wife. I beat her to death with a golf club."

    Eric Hoyer Zookeeper
  • "When two people with a family divorce, they're not the only ones affected. Please don't forget about the pool cleaner."

    Connie Hanson Caterer
  • "I don't understand what all the hubbub is about—Diane Keaton didn't even take off her shirt."

    John Kretchman Systems Analyst
  • "I ain't seen the movie. But all the guys are talking about it down at the garage."

    Bill Feller Key Grip
  • "When my husband left me, I became a member of the Columbia Music Club. Savings is the best revenge!"

    Melanie Kranz Sales Representative

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