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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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The Global-Warming Crisis

According to the National Oceanic And Atmospheric Administration, the average 1998 worldwide temperature was 58.5 degrees, making it the warmest year on record. What do you think about the rising global-warming threat?
  • "Glenn Frey foretold of this grave crisis in his prophetic 1985 hit 'The Heat Is On.'"

    Lorraine Schwall Pediatrician
  • "We must put out the sun before it's too late."

    Marvin Malzone Financial Planner
  • "I just hope that when the world is a post-apocalyptic desert wasteland, I can get my hands on one of them dune-buggy things."

    Dennis Runnels Plumber
  • "Does this question involve the Super Bowl? No? Can you think of one that does?"

    Charles Green Systems Analyst
  • "I for one promise to stop aiming my aerosol cans directly at the sky."

    Armen Wills Cook
  • "I've always loved never-ending summers, palm trees and balmy tropical breezes, and it'll be nice to have them here in Winnipeg."

    Patricia Kolstad Teacher
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