adBlockCheck

The Great White Tragedy

Top Headlines

Entertainment

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

The Great White Tragedy

Some are calling for criminal charges to be filed against the band Great White for its role in the deadly Feb. 20 pyrotechnics fire in Rhode Island. What do you think?
  • "What happened in that Rhode Island club is shocking. To think that over a hundred people would attend a Great White concert..."

    Jim Clemons Financial Analyst
  • "Without pyrotechnics, '80s metal bands will have no way to keep audiences from noticing how shitty their music is."

    Cynthia Kelleher Therapist
  • "As a concerned parent, I think it's high time somebody started speaking out against this dangerous shark-themed rock."

    Theresa King Homemaker
  • "I only feel safe inside a rock club when Lemmy is playing."

    Phil Orland Mechanic
  • "The saddest part of all is, they never even got to hear 'Once Bitten, Twice Shy.'"

    Bill Barton Truck Driver
  • "How many more people have to die before no one ever dies again?"

    Daniel Haley Systems Analyst

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close