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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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The Great White Tragedy

Some are calling for criminal charges to be filed against the band Great White for its role in the deadly Feb. 20 pyrotechnics fire in Rhode Island. What do you think?
  • "What happened in that Rhode Island club is shocking. To think that over a hundred people would attend a Great White concert..."

    Jim Clemons Financial Analyst
  • "Without pyrotechnics, '80s metal bands will have no way to keep audiences from noticing how shitty their music is."

    Cynthia Kelleher Therapist
  • "As a concerned parent, I think it's high time somebody started speaking out against this dangerous shark-themed rock."

    Theresa King Homemaker
  • "I only feel safe inside a rock club when Lemmy is playing."

    Phil Orland Mechanic
  • "The saddest part of all is, they never even got to hear 'Once Bitten, Twice Shy.'"

    Bill Barton Truck Driver
  • "How many more people have to die before no one ever dies again?"

    Daniel Haley Systems Analyst
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