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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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The High Cost Of Weddings

The average cost of a wedding in the United States is $19,581. What do you think?

  • "That's just if you're looking for an average wedding. We've got unmemorable substandard wedding packages beginning at only 14 grand."

    Keith Brenneck Wedding Planner
  • "Well, in my case, it will need to be much higher. I'm only attracted to needy, covetous women whose wedding fantasies never got beyond the Barbie stage and who never seem happy anyhow."

    Alice Foder Mica Inspector
  • "But what's the alternative? Saving $20,000 and having sex with lots of different people?"

    Damon Lombardo Systems Analyst

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