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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:
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The In-Flight Cell-Phone Ban

The FCC is currently reviewing its ban on the use of cell phones during flights, but many passengers say they like the restriction. What do you think?
  • "If they lift the ban on cell-phone use, they better lift the ban on passengers beating the shit out of each other, too."

    Carla Sparks Chef
  • "But...but...what about the disastrous effect cell phones could have on aircraft navigational systems?! Nooo!"

    Gordan Rami Repairman
  • "I don't know. Last year, the airlines lifted the ban on seat-kicking and look what happened."

    Brenda Ellis-Lee Salesperson
  • "Awesome! Now I can call my girlfriend and join the Mile High Solo club."

    Joe Callister Cashier
  • "What an ideal marriage of the Wright Brothers and Alexander Graham Bell. And Kafka. And Pavlov. And Mengele."

    Tyler Wilson Systems Analyst
  • "Now the only thing left is to fill the cabin with ankle-deep brackish ice water, and air travel will be about perfect."

    Toby Leiffert Teacher
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