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The India-Pakistan Conflict

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BRUSSELS—In the wake of the terrorist attacks in Brussels that left over 30 dead and more than 100 injured, an angry and frustrated global populace collectively announced Tuesday that it would make one last attempt to try to understand this shit.

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RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA—Criticizing the amount of time and money wasted between a condemned individual’s sentencing and eventual execution, Saudi government officials expressed frustration Monday over the country’s costly three-hour appeals process for convicts facing the death penalty.

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The India-Pakistan Conflict

Tensions continue to rise between India and Pakistan, with the nuclear rivals threatening to go to war over the disputed Kashmir region. What do you think?
  • "Ever since the days of Gandhi, India has been eager to overcome the stereotype that they're a bunch of wise, deeply spiritual peacemakers."

    Irene Collins Dental Hygienist
  • "If it does come down to a full-scale war, I'm siding with whichever country makes that awesome puffy bread."

    Gina Lathon Student
  • "India and Pakistan may be the next nations to use nukes in war, but no one had better forget who was first. USA! USA! USA!"

    Rich Ketcham Delivery Driver
  • "Oh, don't worry. All this tension and conflict is just a prelude to the showstopping Bollywood dance number."

    Rajesh Subhraveti Cashier
  • "Why would they fear a nuclear war? Pakistan's Muslims have an eternity of honeyed figs awaiting them in the afterlife, and India's Hindus will all just get reincarnated."

    Andrew Schorr Systems Analyst
  • "You know, this is precisely why I only read the sports and comics sections."

    Marlon Watts Architect

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