The India-Pakistan Conflict

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Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.

The India-Pakistan Conflict

Tensions continue to rise between India and Pakistan, with the nuclear rivals threatening to go to war over the disputed Kashmir region. What do you think?
  • "Ever since the days of Gandhi, India has been eager to overcome the stereotype that they're a bunch of wise, deeply spiritual peacemakers."

    Irene Collins
    Dental Hygienist
  • "If it does come down to a full-scale war, I'm siding with whichever country makes that awesome puffy bread."

    Gina Lathon
    Student
  • "India and Pakistan may be the next nations to use nukes in war, but no one had better forget who was first. USA! USA! USA!"

    Rich Ketcham
    Delivery Driver
  • "Oh, don't worry. All this tension and conflict is just a prelude to the showstopping Bollywood dance number."

    Rajesh Subhraveti
    Cashier
  • "Why would they fear a nuclear war? Pakistan's Muslims have an eternity of honeyed figs awaiting them in the afterlife, and India's Hindus will all just get reincarnated."

    Andrew Schorr
    Systems Analyst
  • "You know, this is precisely why I only read the sports and comics sections."

    Marlon Watts
    Architect
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