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The Insanity Defense

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Voyager Probe Badly Damaged After Smashing Into End Of Universe

PASADENA, CA—Confirming that several components had broken off the craft and that most of its scientific instruments were no longer operational, officials from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced that Voyager 1, the pioneering space probe launched in 1977, had been severely damaged Thursday after crashing into the end of the universe.

Leaked Documents Reveal Studio Executives Knew About ‘Gods Of Egypt’ Before It Released Onto Public

SANTA MONICA, CA—Suggesting that the disastrous events of three months ago could have been averted, federal investigators stated Wednesday that a trove of leaked documents confirmed high-ranking studio executives had full knowledge of Gods Of Egypt long before the film was released onto unsuspecting Americans.Investigators described those who allowed such a screenplay to be carried out as “extremely sick and heartless individuals.”

Books Vs. E-Readers

Though e-readers have increasingly supplanted books in the digital age, many bibliophiles defend the importance of physical texts. Here is a side-by-side comparison of physical books and e-books
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The Insanity Defense

Last week, the judge in the Unabomber trial ordered defendant Ted Kaczynski to undergo tests to assess his mental condition, sparking debate about the legitimacy of using insanity as a defense in criminal cases. What do you think?
  • "Mr. Kaczynski has always impressed me as an extremely stable and mentally balanced homicidal Luddite mail-bomber."

    Donald Paciorek Waiter
  • "I think the definition of insanity needs to be clarified. For example, what is the real distinction between 'bat-shit insane' and 'ape-shit insane'?"

    Faye English Guidance Counselor
  • "We've got to start cracking down on America's utterly lucid murderers."

    Rachel Bradley Systems Analyst
  • "If Kaczynski wants to get acquitted by reason of insanity, all he has to do is something insane, like, oh, I don't know, like maybe blow people up with letter bombs for a couple of decades."

    Kenny Porter Civil Engineer
  • "I just got a great deal on a 27-inch TV down at Krazy Karl's Save-A-Tarium. Karl is obviously insane to offer such low prices, but that doesn't mean he's innocent of great bargains."

    Stewart Mota Architect
  • "Who is the man who is capable of judging another man? Judge Wapner, that's who."

    Ronald Issel Math Teacher

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