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The Jeffords Defection

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Politics

Lone Superdelegate Voting For Martin O’Malley Feels Like Total Fucking Idiot

PHILADELPHIA—Sheepishly raising his hand to nominate the man who suspended his presidential campaign back in February, unpledged delegate Bob Shiefke told reporters Tuesday he felt like a “total fucking idiot” for being the only person at the Democratic National Convention voting for former Maryland governor Martin O’Malley.

Michelle Obama: ‘Well, There Are 8 Years Of My Life I’ll Never Get Back’

PHILADELPHIA—Her face fixed in an expression of apathetic detachment as she took the stage Monday night to raucous cheers and applause, First Lady Michelle Obama reportedly began her address to the Democratic National Convention by exhaling audibly and remarking that she would never get the past eight years of her life back.

Revelations From The DNC Email Leak

Last week, WikiLeaks posted 20,000 email exchanges among DNC officials, the content of which led to DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz’s resignation on the eve of the convention. Here are some of the key revelations from the leak

CNN Producer On Hunt For Saddest-Looking Fuck With Convention Button Collection

PHILADELPHIA—Weaving his way through the crowd of patriotically dressed attendees excitedly milling around on the floor of the Democratic National Convention, CNN segment producer Jeff Raskin reportedly went on the hunt Monday for the most pitiful-looking fuck willing to speak on camera about their political button collection.
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The Jeffords Defection

Last week, U.S. Sen. James Jeffords of Vermont left the GOP to become an independent, handing control of the Senate to the Democrats. What do you think?
  • "Wow, this could shift the balance of power in the Senate. It has? I was right."

    Bud Manwaring Truck Driver
  • "It's rare when a senator does what he thinks is right. It's even rarer when the rest of the Senate notices."

    Angela Aldrete Piano Teacher
  • "Now that the Democrats are in control, know what that means? Ping-pong table in the rotunda! Ping-pong table in the rotunda!"

    Hal Uribe Cashier
  • "We can't have people changing parties all willy-nilly. This nation was founded on principles of non-willy-nillyness."

    Paul Dravecky Systems Analyst
  • "Why would anybody want to leave the Republican Party? It just doesn't make sense."

    Donna Thompson Homemaker
  • "A senator defected? Oh, no–now the Russians will learn all the secrets to how we make our government run so smoothly and efficiently."

    Larry Mitchell Banker

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