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The Low Voter Turnout

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Trump Casually Informs Pence He Going To Make One Or Two Appearances During Speech

CLEVELAND—Pulling his running mate aside backstage at the Republican National Convention just minutes before the Indiana governor was scheduled to formally accept the party’s vice presidential nomination, GOP candidate Donald Trump casually informed Mike Pence that he would probably make one or two quick appearances during the Midwestern conservative’s headlining speech tonight.

‘Heed My Tragic Story Well, Friends, For You Could Just As Easily Be Me,’ Says Chris Christie In Haunting RNC Speech

CLEVELAND—A thrall sweeping over the assembled GOP officials and party members Tuesday as he recounted his chilling tale of hubris, New Jersey governor Chris Christie reportedly entreated those at the Republican National Convention to consider the sad story of his own dizzying rise and ignominious fall, offering a bitter warning to all in attendance that his terrible fate could befall any one of them.
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The Low Voter Turnout

Despite being one of the closest presidential races in decades, the 2000 election drew a disappointingly low turnout. What do you think?
  • "Well, I, for one, knew it was going to be close, and I didn't want to, you know, influence it one way or the other."

    Dina Ackles Student
  • "I blame MTV for failing to rock the vote to a sufficient degree."

    Dianne Hoppe Dentist
  • "I was just acting in accordance with the Voter Apathy Act of 1989."

    Mitchell Blake Systems Analyst
  • "I'd have voted if my local races were cooler. Like in Missouri: They had a dead guy on the ballot there, man."

    Fred Runnels Waiter
  • "Not voting is one of the perks of being a convicted felon."

    Matt Slocombe Shipping Clerk
  • "What do you mean? I've done nothing but vote all year–for my favorite song, for most exciting NFL touchdown, for whether the rabbit gets his Trix. I'm fuckin' exhausted."

    Larry Buckley Office Manager

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