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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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The McVeigh Trial

With the Oklahoma City bombing trial about to begin, many observers are questioning whether defendant Timothy McVeigh—the subject of intense media scrutiny for nearly two years—can get a fair trial before an unbiased jury. What do you think?
  • "What's so hard about giving him a fair trial? If he floats, he's a witch. Case closed."

    Mitchell Dyer Systems Analyst
  • "I think the biggest threat to McVeigh's getting a fair trial is the fact that he blew up that federal building in Oklahoma City."

    Ron Young Pianist
  • "It's the trial of the century! Or, at least, this year's trial of the century. Okay, this year's second trial of the century."

    Ken Francona Caterer
  • "America should have a permanent supply of 12 people encased in lucite for just such occasions."

    Ellen Sakata Podiatrist
  • "Even if he did set off that bomb, who's to say those people wouldn't have blown up anyway?"

    Harriet Mortimer Student
  • "Maybe he can plea-bargain down to 16,000 counts of littering and mishandling biological waste."

    Arlo Unger Legal Secretary
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