adBlockCheck

Recent News

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Bo Obama Addresses Graduates Of Dayton Obedience School

DAYTON, OH—Calling on the 2017 class of canines to make the most of their training as they head out into the world, former first dog Bo Obama delivered a stirring commencement speech Friday to graduates of the Dayton Obedience School.

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Most Notable Google Ventures

Ten years ago this week, Google Street View launched, offering panoramic views of locations all over the world. As the tech giant continues to debut new projects, The Onion highlights some of Google’s most ambitious ventures to date:

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.
End Of Section
  • More News

The Morning-After Pill

The FDA is deciding whether they will allow non-prescription sales of the morning-after pill Plan B. What do you think?
  • "If this pill is sold over the counter, people will start, for the first time ever, having unprotected sex."

    Jared Maldonado Telemarketer
  • "It says in the Bible that the morning-after pill is wrong. I believe the passage is Pharmaceuticals 3:16."

    Adrian Roy Systems Analyst
  • "Why not? The tequila responsible for getting me knocked up in the first place is sold over the counter."

    Dana Conner Photographer
  • "Not for me, thanks. I've had a Dalkon Shield IUD in me for 30 years, and in me it's gonna stay."

    Ana Huff Musician
  • "Do I think they should sell the morning-after pill over the counter? Hell, I think they should add it to One-A-Day multivitamins."

    Claude Adkins Author
  • "Wait. There's a way to prevent pregnancy?"

    Karl Bass Security Guard

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close