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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.
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The Nuclear Response

Calling nuclear retaliation against attackers "an option," President Bush wants to build up the U.S. nuclear arsenal as a means of deterrence. What do you think?
  • "This is great news. I've always been afraid of dying alone."

    Diane Balboni Podiatrist
  • "Oh, well. And I was just getting used to calling it a root cellar."

    Ron Cotto Machinist
  • "Finally, the president is listening to what the American people want."

    Pat Langston Systems Analyst
  • "At least this means they'll be reopening the nuclear-warhead factory here in Flint, MI."

    Rich Buhner Unemployed
  • "This is a difficult issue, but, ultimately, nuclear preparedness is the only answer to the problem of global population."

    Tom Bankhead Developer
  • "Can we go back to ruining the world through deforestation and steady ozone depletion? That was a lot less scary."

    Linda Kingery Teacher

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