adBlockCheck

Recent News

Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
End Of Section
  • More News

The NYC Smoking Ban

New York is one of a number of U.S. cities considering a ban on smoking in restaurants and bars. What do you think?
  • "This is a victory for annoying people like me who call cigarettes 'coffin nails' and 'cancer sticks' and all that sort of stuff."

    Shelly Sabel Lighting <br>Designer
  • "Has Amnesty International heard about this?"

    Jef Awada Real-Estate <br>Agent
  • "I can't stand cigarette smoke, but no one seems to care down at the Drink & Smoke & Drink & Smoke Tavern."

    Tom Epstein Actor
  • "Now that New York has addressed the problem of secondhand smoke, maybe they'll tackle the problem of secondhand human-waste stench."

    Jim Mackil Advertising <br>Executive
  • "But what will I draw slowly on to indicate that I'm contemplating what's been said by my dinner companion?"

    Dennis <br>McCormack Systems <br>Analyst
  • "As a bar waitress, I'm glad someone is protecting my right to work in a bar that doesn't make any money."

    Elizabeth <br>Gabbay Waitress

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close