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The NYC Smoking Ban

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Report: Someone Needs To Get Chips And Dip Away From Area Man

EDISON, NJ—Repeatedly emphasizing that the ruffled potato chips and accompanying French onion dip were just too good, a report released Thursday confirmed that someone needs to get them away from local partygoer Ian Ashcraft before he eats the whole thing.

Obama Resigns From Presidency After Michelle Lands Dream Job In Seattle

‘It’s Time I Made Some Sacrifices For This Family,’ Reports President

WASHINGTON—Saying his wife of 24 years had already sacrificed so much for the sake of his career and that it was time to return the favor, Barack Obama announced Wednesday his resignation as president of the United States of America, effective immediately, following news that Michelle Obama had landed her dream job in Seattle.

High School Nurse Getting Pretty Good At Spotting Morning Sickness

FAIRFIELD, ME―Having seen more students than she can remember come into her office with complaints of nausea and vomiting over the years, Fairfield High School nurse Sarah Bromti told reporters Wednesday she’s getting to the point where she can identify morning sickness without much trouble.
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The NYC Smoking Ban

New York is one of a number of U.S. cities considering a ban on smoking in restaurants and bars. What do you think?
  • "This is a victory for annoying people like me who call cigarettes 'coffin nails' and 'cancer sticks' and all that sort of stuff."

    Shelly Sabel
    Lighting <br>Designer
  • "Has Amnesty International heard about this?"

    Jef Awada
    Real-Estate <br>Agent
  • "I can't stand cigarette smoke, but no one seems to care down at the Drink & Smoke & Drink & Smoke Tavern."

    Tom Epstein
    Actor
  • "Now that New York has addressed the problem of secondhand smoke, maybe they'll tackle the problem of secondhand human-waste stench."

    Jim Mackil
    Advertising <br>Executive
  • "But what will I draw slowly on to indicate that I'm contemplating what's been said by my dinner companion?"

    Dennis <br>McCormack
    Systems <br>Analyst
  • "As a bar waitress, I'm glad someone is protecting my right to work in a bar that doesn't make any money."

    Elizabeth <br>Gabbay
    Waitress

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