The NYC Smoking Ban

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Siblings Each Hoping Other One Will Take Care Of Aging Parents Someday

CLEVELAND—Explaining that they simply didn’t want to have to deal with the immense time commitment and emotional exhaustion, sisters Katie and Ellen Cattell each privately admitted to reporters this week that they were hoping the other sibling would someday be the one to take care of their aging parents.

Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.

Where Your Political Donation Goes

With over $1 billion spent in the 2016 presidential race alone, campaign donations continue to cause much controversy and even confusion for their role in shaping politics. Here is a step-by-step guide to how the average American’s political donation travels through a campaign

Roommate Skulking Around Edge Of Party Like Victorian Ghost Child

SEATTLE—Appearing initially in the far corner of the living room and then several minutes later on the threshold between the kitchen and the hallway, local roommate Kelsey Stahl was, by multiple accounts, seen skulking around the edge of a house party Friday like a Victorian ghost child.
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The NYC Smoking Ban

New York is one of a number of U.S. cities considering a ban on smoking in restaurants and bars. What do you think?
  • "This is a victory for annoying people like me who call cigarettes 'coffin nails' and 'cancer sticks' and all that sort of stuff."

    Shelly Sabel Lighting <br>Designer
  • "Has Amnesty International heard about this?"

    Jef Awada Real-Estate <br>Agent
  • "I can't stand cigarette smoke, but no one seems to care down at the Drink & Smoke & Drink & Smoke Tavern."

    Tom Epstein Actor
  • "Now that New York has addressed the problem of secondhand smoke, maybe they'll tackle the problem of secondhand human-waste stench."

    Jim Mackil Advertising <br>Executive
  • "But what will I draw slowly on to indicate that I'm contemplating what's been said by my dinner companion?"

    Dennis <br>McCormack Systems <br>Analyst
  • "As a bar waitress, I'm glad someone is protecting my right to work in a bar that doesn't make any money."

    Elizabeth <br>Gabbay Waitress


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