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Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.
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The Partial-Birth Abortion Ban

Last week, the House of Representatives voted to ban partial-birth abortions, moving the bill a step closer to President Bush. What do you think?
  • "Partial-birth abortions should absolutely be banned. It says so in The Bible, in Paul's Letter To The Corinthians Re: Partial-Birth Abortions."

    Paul Sprague Systems Analyst
  • "Whew—got that one in just under the wire."

    Meredith Sims Graphic Designer
  • "Good. Now, U.S. women will think twice before fucking some stranger in a truck in a vacant lot somewhere. Are you listening, Amy?"

    Chris Kannell Mechanic
  • "Partial-birth abortions are disgusting. So, for that matter, are vaginas."

    Eric Pierce Delivery Driver
  • "This should kickstart the economy."

    Donna Lund Physical Therapist
  • "Speaking as a man, let me just say, Christ, am I glad I'm a man."

    Oscar Hamilton Attorney

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Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.

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