adBlockCheck

Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
End Of Section
  • More News

The Partial-Birth Abortion Ban

Last week, the House of Representatives voted to ban partial-birth abortions, moving the bill a step closer to President Bush. What do you think?
  • "Partial-birth abortions should absolutely be banned. It says so in The Bible, in Paul's Letter To The Corinthians Re: Partial-Birth Abortions."

    Paul Sprague Systems Analyst
  • "Whew—got that one in just under the wire."

    Meredith Sims Graphic Designer
  • "Good. Now, U.S. women will think twice before fucking some stranger in a truck in a vacant lot somewhere. Are you listening, Amy?"

    Chris Kannell Mechanic
  • "Partial-birth abortions are disgusting. So, for that matter, are vaginas."

    Eric Pierce Delivery Driver
  • "This should kickstart the economy."

    Donna Lund Physical Therapist
  • "Speaking as a man, let me just say, Christ, am I glad I'm a man."

    Oscar Hamilton Attorney

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close