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Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.
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The Return Of Flag Burning

On April 29, the Senate Judiciary Committee voted 11-7 to send an anti-flag-burning amendment to the full Senate floor. What do you think about the prospect of such a constitutional ban?
  • "Think about it: a constitutional amendment limiting civil liberties so that protesters will no longer be able to burn flags? It just makes sense."

    Lydia Bochte Nurse
  • "Why can't people get this straight? Flags are for flying; crosses are for burning."

    Larry Stoddard Systems Analyst
  • "Flag burning? It's fine, I suppose. Unless, of course, it's an American flag. Then it should be illegal."

    Joan Nelson Homemaker
  • "This amendment hasn't even been passed, and I've already been convicted of burning a flag. Maybe it had something to do with that Perkins that was attached to it."

    Gene Bannister Auto Mechanic
  • "I've got a bunch of American-flag napkins from last July 4th. Can I still wipe mustard off my face with them if this amendment passes? 'Cause I've got a real problem with mustard spillage, to be honest."

    Geoff Cruz Forklift Operator
  • "When I think about the countless flags being burned in this country every day, I must admit that something, no matter how drastic, must be done."

    Ken Bulling Bond Trader

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Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

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