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The Return Of Thalidomide

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Brita Unveils New In-Throat Water Filters

OAKLAND, CA—Representatives from Brita, the nation’s bestselling brand of household water filtration products, held a press event Wednesday to unveil a new line of filters designed to be installed directly inside users’ throats.

Video Game Henchmen Plan Meetup Around Explosive Barrels

LEVEL 5—A group of video game henchmen patrolling the warehouse hideout of their criminal mastermind boss informed reporters Wednesday of their upcoming plan to take a brief break from making their rounds to meet up around a stack of five highly explosive barrels.

Study Links Clinical Depression To Getting Dunked On

BOSTON—Identifying a significant factor contributing to the development of the mental health disorder, researchers from Harvard Medical School published a groundbreaking study Thursday that reportedly links clinical depression to getting dunked on.

How Dating Sites Match Their Users

With millions of people opting to use online dating sites to meet new potential romantic partners, many are wondering how computer algorithms can enhance their chances of finding “the one.” Here are the steps that dating sites take to match compatible users

How To File A Patent

In the United States, anyone who believes they have invented something truly unique is welcome to fill out a patent application to protect it, but it’s often a complicated and laborious process. Here are the steps involved in securing a patent

EPA Urges Nation To Develop New Air Source

WASHINGTON—Citing the hazardous levels of carbon dioxide and other pollutants accumulating in the atmosphere, officials from the Environmental Protection Agency urged the nation this week to develop a new air source.
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The Return Of Thalidomide

Thalidomide, banned for over three decades for causing birth defects in thousands of children whose mothers took it during pregnancy, has been reapproved by the FDA for the treatment of leprosy. What do you think?
  • "I wish I'd known about thalidomide's reintroduction a few weeks ago, so I wouldn't have had to go through the trouble of sawing off my son's arms and attaching his hands to his shoulders myself."

    Rachel Newsome Systems Analyst
  • "In his prophetic 1989 hit, 'We Didn't Start The Fire,' Billy Joel warned of the dangers facing children of thalidomide. He also spoke stirringly about the problem of heavy-metal suicide."

    Kyle Ordonez Baker
  • "As a person whose mother took thalidomide during pregnancy, I must ask: Could you hand me that pen, please? Just put it in my mouth."

    Jonathan Bibby Civil Engineer
  • "My grandfather says that in the old days, they used to meet on the veranda on hot summer evenings and drink strawberry thalidomides. It sounds like a nice, old-fashioned treat."

    Mel Tepper Roofer
  • "My Doctor Said Thalidomide(TM)."

    Craig Upchurch Landscaper
  • "It's horrifying that such a vile substance will once again be on the market. You did say Tab, didn't you?"

    Gwendolyn Porter Student

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