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DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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The Robert Blake Murder Case

Arrested nearly a year after his wife was fatally shot, actor Robert Blake is pleading not guilty to murder charges. What do you think?
  • "This is the new O.J.! Except nobody gives a fuck, and there's a tiny sliver of a possibility that Blake didn't actually do it."

    Carl Morgan Electrician
  • "His pet cockatoo Fred must be rolling in his cigar-box grave over this."

    Milt Herndon File Clerk
  • "Bonny Lee Bakley was hardly a saint. She was a con-woman, a grifter. A flim-flammer and a bunko artist. This doll had more angles than an octagon."

    Rick Evans Systems Analyst
  • "Before we jump to any conclusions about Robert Blake's guilt or innocence, we should first consult the Internet Movie Database to make sure he's still alive."

    Paul LeMaster Chemical Engineer
  • "As the man himself said, 'Some are born to sweet delight, some are born to endless night.' I'm sorry—I thought we were talking about William Blake."

    Andrea Stennett Optometrist
  • "Oh, those washed-up celebrities! Who will they kill next?"

    Diane Venable Librarian
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